


ACME Complaint File 1013

by Ursula



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Crossover, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-26
Updated: 2009-01-26
Packaged: 2018-11-20 09:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11333103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ursula/pseuds/Ursula
Summary: Krycek has a problem with ACME.





	ACME Complaint File 1013

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

ACME Complaint File 1013

## ACME Complaint File 1013

### by Ursula

##### [Story Headers]

  


Dear ACME Products 

Having had your products recommended by a good friend of mine, Mr. Lindsey McDonald, I am severely disappointed by your services. 

To whit: 

On September 7 of 2008, I purchased a replacement left arm from your company. I expected to have normal and usual performance of said arm. 

Instead, I find that my left arm and the hand thereof will not perform any useful tasks. My left hand will not do anything except to jerk off incessantly. 

As a result my employers have terminated me from my work. If I did not have exceptional reflexes, said termination would have resulted in permanent unemployment except as a corpse. 

This sad situation has resulted in my residence with the unwilling donor of my arm, Mr. Fox Mulder. I have not slept for two weeks as a result and I may never be able to sit normally again. 

I have retained the services of my friend, Lindsey McDonald, despite his former employment with your subsidiary, Wolfram and Hart. 

I am asking, a functioning left arm, return of the malfunctioning arm to its former owner, Mr. Fox Mulder, and ten million dollars for lost income and human suffering. 

Signed, 

Alex Krycek, Esquire

  
 

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Title:   **ACME Complaint File 1013**   
Author:  Ursula   [email/website]   
Details:   **Standalone**  |  **PG-13**  |  **1k**  |  **01/26/09**   
Pairings:  Mulder/Krycek   
Category:  Humor, Crossover  |  Angel   
Summary:  Krycek has a problem with ACME.   
  
  
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